um, nesting or simple diversion?

So I finished our taxes yesterday (yes, I do our taxes all by myself and I am VERY proud about this).

Then I started cleaning and shredding paper, and wiping off counter tops. Was this nesting or just a simple diversion to keep me from thinking about the birth mom who was supposed to be looking at our profile this weekend? It's just too good to be true, she won't pick us. I've told you, I've told me.

Things that sound too good to be true usually are...

OH and last night I found out my cousin is pregnant. She's said she would NEVER have kids, didn't want kids.... harumph... I found out on Facebook and that is just an inappropriate place to post such blessed news.

And now, because I suffer from perfectionism along with my anxiety, I can't stop wondering "what could I have done differently in our profile to make her pick us?" but I'm learning that there is nothing I could have done.

It is what it is.
Life is NOT fair (that is a fact, not me whining).
I'm learning.