are these my kids

Got a call from our SW yesterday asking if we are interested in a sibling group of three. Don't know where if came from but I said YES!

One 6-year-old boy, and 4-year-old boy/girl twins!

It is a foster to adopt situation.

The birth parents rights were terminated when the twins were born. They have been in foster care as far as I know.

The past 15-18 months they have been with a single mom who was planning to foster/adopt all three.

All three were removed from her care recently when she bit the little girl, trying to teach her not to bite. Seems it was a pretty bad bite and preschool reported it.

She never wanted the little girl, just the boys, so the little girl has been neglected. All three suffer from anxiety.

We are being considered as foster to adopt parents. Never thought we'd consider three and couldn't understand why SW would call us with this situation. She explained that with foster to adopt, we'd receive a stipend for each child until age 18, no matter when adoption is finalized. Also, each child would receive medicaid until adoption is finalized.

I have looked into preschool for the twins, and the 6-year-old could go to my parent's house after school.

I'd researched car seats and which would fit three in our Jeep Liberty. Depending on the weight of the twins, they might be able to sit in booster seats.

I want to be prepared if we are interviewed, I want to have the answer for how will you manage with three children when you've never had one.

I have opened my heart to these three kids. I've not seen a photo, but I do know their names.

I suffer from anxiety as do these kids. I am in recovery. I feel I could help them due to my experience.

I can't help wondering: are these my kids?

(if you are wondering why I'm posting this hear and not on my adoption journey blog, it's because some family and friends don't want to know until something's almost final, but I feel the need to blog about it.)

It's funny, I was so intent on a newborn, but it's not that I changed my mind, it's that I changed my heart.

Jane, stop this crazy thing

1. ttc (8.2000)
   
2. clomid
3. clomid
4. clomid
5. clomid
6. clomid
7. clomid
8. clomid
9. stop clomid
   
10. miscarriage (2005)
11. miscarriage (2005)
12. PCOS (2005)
    
13. Follistim and IUI - failed (2006)
    
14. Follistim and IUI - failed (2006)
    
15. Follistim
16. Follistim
17. Follistim
18. Follistim
19. stopped Follistim
    
20. miscarriage (11.2006)
21. low ovarian reserve (2007)
    
22. severe depression (6.2008)
    
23. give up all hope
24. decide to adopt (8.2008)
    
25. home study
26. home visit
27. home study approval (12.24.08)
28. waiting
29. waiting
30. waiting
    
31. birth mom reviews our profile
32. waiting
33. waiting
34. waiting
    
35. not chosen (4.2009)
36. waiting
37. waiting
38. waiting
    
39. considered for foster to adopting a sib group of THREE (4.29.09)
40. judge ruled 3 sibs be returned to the abusive foster/adopt mom (5.5.09) ugh
41. waiting
    

not chosen

just got the word that we were not chosen to be adoptive parents of the baby due April 30. she did choose someone, out of 175. i thought she'd end up keeping the baby at this point, so close to due date. i am guessing she is having a very difficult time with her decision. i can only imagine.

PS to 44 today

Do you have ANY idea how loud the biological clock ticks at 44?!?!? I think I'm goin DEAF!!! whadidja say? LOL


...at least I still have my sense of humor...

the r house

Found Mrs. R on Twitter (yes, I Twitter as waiting2adopt). So far, I'm loving her. She has adopted 2. She has some GREAT posts, I highly recommend you check her out

the r house

44 today

It's been 9 months since we started the home study. I really thought we'd have a baby by my 44th birthday. I'm always thinking "I'll be 54 when my child is 10, and 64 when they are 20, will I be around to see any grandchildren?"

WHERE IS MY BABY!!!

oh my goodness

So we are STILL waiting to hear a decision from the birth mom who is due on April 30. Friday I called and spoke to her attorney's secretary who told me the birth mom has not made a decision yet. She asked for my phone number and said she'd see what she could find out and call me back.

A few hours later the ATTORNEY called me back and said "I hear you have some good news for me?" and I was like "WHAT?!" and he repeated it and is said "are you telling me YOU have GOOD news for me????" I was FREAKING OUT at this point. So I say "wait a minute, I'm called earlier to find out if the birth mom due on April 30 has made a decision." He says "Oh. I had you confused with someone else." I wanted to PUKE!

He ended up telling me she has a list of 10-12 potential couples but he didn't have that list at hand and could not tell me if we are on it. He also said she if having a difficult time making a decision at all.

What a FRUSTRATING phone call.

THINK before you call someone, KNOW who you are talking to. It's a person's future you are messing with here.

ugh

still in it!

I called the birth mom's attorney again (see previous posts such as Alicia and Stephanie made me do it!).

The birth mom has not picked any profiles yet, she is still planning to have her baby adopted, we are still in it.

Keep those fingers, toes and eyes crossed!!!

For those of you who haven't started the "waiting" portion of adoption yet , it's much worse than waiting for a call back after a job interview when you are unemployeed. Times that by like 1,000...

the best part of infertility

Yes, there is a good part!

After struggling with infertility by myself for six years, I joined Fertility Forums in 2006. Finally, I met other women suffering with infertility too. It was great to know I was not alone. It was great to met women who knew what I was going through, who knew what I felt.

In May 2006, I met Angie and Robin. The three of us were all having IUI procedures and quickly bonded. We each live in a different state and in 2006, we were all over 35.

I'm happy to report, Angie and Robin have been successful with their fertility treatment.

I'm even happier to report that I am spending 4 days this week with Angie, her husband and their 2-year-old daughter!!! Because of the distance, I am flying, and because Angie knows we are saving money to pay for adoption, she paid for my ticket.

This is the best gift I've ever had. Thank you Angie, I am extremely grateful and I love you.

updated 4.6.09: Check this out The Snooch's Blog