Monday, February 9, 2009

five stages of grief

My counselor told me I am going through the "5 stages of grief," grief for not being able to be a biological mom.


I was terribly, terribly depressed last summer, did I mention that already? I actually thought about driving off a bridge. That's when I knew it was B-A-D! If you get to this state, please seek professional help. I did and I'm glad. It has helped me immeasurably. Or talk to someone, anyone, ME even! I understand the pain of infertility. I would not wish infertility on my worst enemy (and yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a few).

I think I'm stuck in the anger stage, I think I've been here for about 4 years, so I don't know how long these stages can last, but they totally relate to infertility and it's pains. Um, well, I guess I've been to stage 4 and now I'm back to stage 2, interesting how that works... We are all unique...

The five stages of grief are:

  1. Denial:
    • Example - "I feel fine." or "This can't be happening, not to me!"
  2. Anger:
    • Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" or "How can this happen, I hate this world!"
  3. Bargaining:
    • Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate." or "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years." or "I will give my life savings if..."'
  4. Depression:
    • Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?" or "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
  5. Acceptance:
    • Example - "It's going to be okay." or "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is what our last adoption class was on....