Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Silent Sorority

Haven't read it, but thought some of my readers might wanna check it out. I'll let you know if I read it, you let me know if you've read it! But right now I'm trying "non research" reading ;)



Silent Sorority
A (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found
by Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos
About the Book
What happens when a couple can't conceive after years of trying? What awaits two people who want to be parents, as they move away from the fertility treatment/adoption/mommy-and-daddy track? With humor, poignancy, and grace, Silent Sorority sheds light on the lasting impact infertility has on relationships, identity, and planning for the future. Pamela reveals what it's like to be a “non-mom” in an era dominated by Mom's Clubs and helicopter parents. Along the way, she discovers a welcoming sisterhood whose nurturing fellowship provide the foundation for a rebirth. This is the story of how a (barren) woman gets busy, angry, lost and found.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

can't get it outta my head!

First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes an empty baby carriage?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Infertility and IVF: A Womb with a View

from Williamsburg Yorktown Daily:

Infertility and IVF: A Womb with a View
Dr. John Janousek, M.D.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

infertility journey vs. adoption journey

I hadn't realized how similar my adoption journey would be to my infertility journey.

With infertility we thought for years our problem was getting pregnant. We overcame that only to learn I'd have a problem staying pregnant. Three miscarriages.

We made the decision to adopt after my bout of severe depression due to feeling less than human because I cannot have children. I don't know anyone else like me (in real life). Everyone I know who's wanted children, had them.

We completed our home study in record time. I don't think either of us realized how agonizing waiting to be matched with a birthmom or child would be. Waiting, waiting and more waiting.

Both journeys are roller coasters. Life had prepared me for neither. I assumed from a very young age I'd get married and have babies, like anyone else. It didn't happen.

Where is my child.
Where is my heart.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

the best part of infertility

Yes, there is a good part!

After struggling with infertility by myself for six years, I joined Fertility Forums in 2006. Finally, I met other women suffering with infertility too. It was great to know I was not alone. It was great to met women who knew what I was going through, who knew what I felt.

In May 2006, I met Angie and Robin. The three of us were all having IUI procedures and quickly bonded. We each live in a different state and in 2006, we were all over 35.

I'm happy to report, Angie and Robin have been successful with their fertility treatment.

I'm even happier to report that I am spending 4 days this week with Angie, her husband and their 2-year-old daughter!!! Because of the distance, I am flying, and because Angie knows we are saving money to pay for adoption, she paid for my ticket.

This is the best gift I've ever had. Thank you Angie, I am extremely grateful and I love you.

updated 4.6.09: Check this out The Snooch's Blog

Monday, February 9, 2009

DO NOT go it alone! trust me

I cannot stress this enough, DO NOT go through this alone. Please please PLEASE find someone who understand infertility to talk to. Please trust me, been there, done that. I do speak from experience. It is my goal to help others.

If I cannot have biological children, I'd like to help others achieve their dreams, or at least manage their infertility.

I have a friend who came to me over a year ago. She is in her 20s and having a difficult time TTC. Her OB kept saying "you have plenty of time, just keep trying." My friend knew what I've been through, so she asked for my advice, which of course I'm more than HAPPY to give.

I suggest ANYONE who has been trying 6 months and is not pregnant seek the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. This is also what I told my friend. She followed my advice, and I am overjoyed to report she gave birth to a healthy baby girl just this weekend!!! All she needed was little clomid to help her along. She is one of the lucky ones. But if she had followed the advice of her OB, she could still be TTC.

She has been kind enough to acknowledge that without me she would not be pregnant. I am extremely happy for her. Anything I can do to keep anyone from going through what I've been through, I'm happy to help.

But please, don't try to go it alone, you do need support, even if it's an online forum, speak to others who understand it really does help. Check out RESOLVE'S website and see if there is a support meeting near you. Try online, there are many forums. Email me, leave me a comment. I'll do anything I can for you.

Monday, February 2, 2009

infertility lingo

This will be useful for those of you just getting into infertility treatment and/or for those of you with a friend or family member suffering from infertility, hopefully.

  • TTC = trying to concieve
  • IUI = Intrauterine insemination is a procedure which involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. This fertility treatment does not involve the manipulation of a woman’s eggs, and therefore is not considered an assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedure.
  • ART = Assisted Reproductive Technology
  • IVF = In Vitro Fertilization is the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. When the IVF procedure is successful, the process is combined with a procedure known as embryo transfer, which is used to physically place the embryo in the uterus.
  • GIFT = Gamete intrafallopian transfer is similar to IVF, but the gametes (egg and sperm) are transferred to the fallopian tubes rather than the uterus, and fertilization takes place in the tubes rather than in the laboratory. GIFT also involves a laparoscopic surgical procedure to transfer the sperm and egg into the tubes. GIFT accounts for approximately 2% of assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedures in the United States.
  • ZIFT = Zygote Intrafallopian Transfer differs from GIFT in that the fertilization process still takes place in the laboratory versus the fallopian tubes. It is similar to GIFT in that the fertilized egg is transferred into fallopian tubes, and it involves a laparoscopic surgical procedure. ZIFT accounts for less than 1.5% of assisted reproductive technology (ART) procedures in the United States.
  • FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer (Frozen embryos are sometimes referred to as snowflakes.)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

why me & infertility sucks

Ok, let it all hang out. I know if it's crossed your mind once, it's crossed it a million times. Please feel free to let loose with your "why me's" and "infertility sucks" here. No one will judge! Please know you are not alone.

facts & tips for dealing with infertility

  • Ob/Gyns are not equip to help the infertile girl. I recommend you start with a reproductive endocrinologist or as they are know RE. They can help diagnose your problem.
  • Fertility peaks at age 27. No one ever told me that. This is a very helpful piece of information.
  • Once your problem is diagnosed, you must be aggressive and tell your doctor what you want. Chances are, they will start you out on clomid. The plain truth is it's cheap. So it has been my experience that this is the firs thing everyone tries.
  • Clomid does not work for everyone. Don't waist too much time on it.
  • If your doctor is not treating you (medically) the way you want to be treated, it's time to move on to a new doctor.
  • You are in charge of your fertility treatment, never forget this. You are paying for your treatment (and chances are it's not covered by your insurance) so be sure you are getting the care you want and need. You decide when it's time to get more aggressive with your treatments, when it's time to move on to something else. It's your body, it's your life. You don't have time to waste where fertility is concerned.
  • If you want to be a mom, you will be able to stick yourself in the belly with a needle, this is a very small thing to overcome in the route to motherhood.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

how to treat an infertile girl

  • Ask her if she'd like to talk about her infertility, and be willing to listen. If she prefers to keep it private, that's fine, but it will mean a lot to her that you asked.
  • Invite her to your baby shower, but do not expect her to attend. If you don't invite her you are treating her like she is invisible, by inviting her you are letting her know you are thinking of her. Also don't expect her to purchase a baby gift, when you are infertile, it is extremely difficult to be around baby stuff. Please don't be offended.
  • Try not to complain about your kids too much, a little is ok.
  • Never tell your infertile friend how luck she is to not have children, she does not feel luck at all, in fact chances are she feels quite the opposite, unlucky with a capital U!
  • Don't joke about how easy it is for you to get pregnant "all he has to do it look at me and I get pregnant!" This type of joke is not appreciated by the infertile girl.
  • Please try to put yourself in the infertile girl's shoes. "How would I feel if everyone around me had kids, is having kids, is pregnant?" It may be difficult for you when you have rugrats screaming at the top of their lungs and peeing on the carpet, but please try.
  • Tell your friend she has taught you how lucky and blessed you are to be able to have children without ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) or infertility treatment.
  • Try to learn a little about infertility and treatments so you can understand what your friend is facing.
  • Offer to go to a doctor's appointment with your friend if her husband is not able to attend.
  • Tell your friend you can't understand what she is going through, but you'd like to try.
  • Keep reminding your infertile friend you are there for her.

added 02/01/09
  • Tell your infertile friend when you get pregnant, don't let her hear it through the grapevine.

Friday, January 30, 2009

things NOT to say to an infertile girl

  • relax
  • take a vacation
  • consider yourself blessed you don't have children
  • get drunk
  • stop trying so hard
  • want my kids? you can have them
  • think about all the traveling you can do without kids
  • I can't believe it took me SIX MONTHS to get pregnant!!!

and once you move on from infertility treatment to adoption:
  • you will get pregnant now that you are trying to adopt

Thursday, January 29, 2009

"unexplained infertility" my ass

My husband and I left the DC metro area 9 years ago to live in a rural, family-friendly place in Virginia. Did I say 9 years? Shortly after moving we started TTC. After the first year, I asked my OB/GYN, what's up with that. She said give it time. I was 35.

A woman's fertility peaks at 27, then it's downhill from there. This is a fact that I think everyone who wants to have children should know. No one ever told me, and I was 35, way beyond my peak. We kept trying.

After another year or so we went to a "fertility specialist" who told us "for a price he could get anyone pregnant." Oh.... so..... what might that price be? $40,000! Did I mention that when we left DC we also left half my salary to live the rural life?

We saw another "specialist" and the cost was equally out of reach for us. Both "specialists" diagnosed me with "unexplained infertility." What a load of crap.

I started reading and researching, trying to find out what was wrong with me. I finally decided I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I went to a few more doctors and they all said I did not have PCOS. Years passed.

One day, after a visit with my NP, she called and said "have you ever been diagnosed with PCOS?" and I said no, that I'd kept asking specialists but they kept telling me no. She he made an appointment for me with a PCOS specialist and after 5 minutes with him, I was diagnosed with PCOS. About 5 years have passed since we started TTC.

I was put on Metformin to help control the symptoms of PCOS. I also started clomid to help me release some eggs. The worst side effect of PCOS is that one does not release eggs on a regular basis, so your chance of conceiving is greatly diminished.

to be continued....